Lately the only real capitulation I have felt is in the stock market. Unfortunately, this has happened a few times over the last year. This morning one year ago today for example... The cost to insure $10Million of Bear Stearns Debt in Credit Default Swaps shot past $1Million. Two days later they were sold off to JP Morgan for pennies on the dollar. Those types of moments were real capitulation moments for me and the market.
Today I am feeling a different kind of capitulation. I took a job contracting with the government last October. At the time, the market was about to have its biggest down move in... um... ever… and my employer at the time had no sign of turning their ship around in the next... um... never. These two things told me it was time to move to a job where I could hedge the down side as much as possible. Nothing said stability to me like working for the government. I could take a job that is actually half way interesting, a decent commute and would be stable and secure. Unfortunately, I was really really wrong about the last part of that. This job has been about as far from stable as it could ever be. I have yet to go a couple months without some kind of funding issue with my position. This leaves me on the brink of being on the street at any moment. I also have no way to do any long term planning. My current experience is what I would like to think is the nadir of this whole thing, but, what if it isn't? The longer this drags out, the less optimistic I feel about a new contract being signed. And even if one is... how long will it last? Will it go to just June 30th like many of the others? Or will it go out to all the way to the end of September? Either length isn't really much to hang your hat on. Both put me back in this situation again in a short time.
I think the saddest part of this is that it comes at the same time I would have probably been released from my previous employer. Yesterday they had a big round of layoffs and I would have picked up a severance out of that. So, now I am without severance and looking at the same boat. Just another great example of how I make some of the worst choices possible in my life.
Oh well, I guess I will go back today and continue to pack up the laid-off people’s stuff and wait to see if some anonymous faces downtown will sign a contract to give me another lease on life for a few more months. I think the other plan today is to find another job. I have no idea where or doing what, but, I better figure it out. And figure it out quick.
I know that out of great adversity comes great opportunity. I really need to start searching for that opportunity.
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