Too much thinkin'

I had the day off yesterday and today was pretty slow at work. This fortunately or unfortunately (I am unsure at this point) this gave me a lot of time to think. I have really been trying to get my life back in order lately. I sometimes feel like I have let about a half decade slip away. I have experienced a lot of good things over the last five years, but, I feel that in many aspects of my life I am spinning my wheels. Part of this problem I think stems from a lack of direction and purpose. Here I am at 35 and I really still have no realistic idea of what I want to do with my life. I have the big dreams and goals, but, I fear that I may have let way too much time slip to really actualize any of them. This means that I need to hunker down and focus on the more obtainable and realistic goals. The big problem I face is sitting down and really assessing my values and my situation. I have some short term goals in place and I am working on them, but, they do not address the big questions. Some of the short term goals are things like get to 200 pounds and attain a graduate degree. I am 70% of the way from 300 to 200 on the weight front and I am knee deep in the graduate school process, but, these are just short term, temporary stops along the way. I still need to really figure out what I realistically want to do. *sigh* I was hoping that writing about it tonight would get the mental juice flowing and I would have some epiphany. It doesn’t appear to be the case. I guess this process will be as it should be… a long arduous journey that I will never really complete. Until then, I will just keep on chugging along, reading, studying and trying to learn from anybody and everybody I can.